I acknowledge that I’ve been brainwashed. In the past I thought that brainwashes only happened in areas where there is war, where child soldiers learn at an early age about hate and depraving. Kids who get told that killing is good. Admitting, this brainwash activity is quite prominent and extreme.
However in the Netherlands we also have a large amount of behavioural rules that we learn in our youth that influence us. Some of them not doing us any good. Think about cohabiting, marriage, money, religion and power. In short; what’s good and what’s bad….
As an example I use one of my earliest memories concerning influences from the outside that made me see love through certain goggles. Innocent youth sentiment, Walt Disney? Classics like Aladdin, Cinderella and the Little Mermaid?
It could be my interpretation but as a kid I never saw two gays in front of the altar wearing a princess dress.
What about Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? Wouldn’t she prefer to eat a different biscuit besides her prince? Or Sleeping Beauty who gets excited by a biseksual kiss? Nope! As far as I know there are no explicit gay, bi or transgender scenes in these kidsmovies. The typical Disney classic: male-female, prince-princess.
This could be a reason to assume that you shouldn’t be different than anyone else. At least your sub-conscious mind will be influenced by whats ‘normal’ and what people expect of you. It’s easy not to think for yourself because your family, teachers, social media and the rest of the society already does this for you.
Recently I caught myself on a few of these thoughts. Decisions I made based on earlier memories and information that I’ve stored in my mind because I heard it over and over again. Information that has been repeated so many times that I believed in it.
My earliest believes contributed to the limited believe that I should like boys.’Which boy are you in love with?’ This question was asked in kindergarten simply because I’m a girl. Interesting fact, because as far as I know everyone in my class was in love with the teacher.
What if you don’t specifically fancy a male or a female? But just a person you feel a connection with?
The only thing that would matter is what the other person awakens in you. A connection with someone, irrespective which sexual orientation belongs to that person.
Would it be possible that we will evolve in the future without a specific sexual preference? That we will all be biseksual? Or more specifically said, that we will develop ourselves in such a way that we are not interested in the sexual orientation of the other person but only in the connection?
Maybe I shouldn’t jump to conclusions. We all wear our own glasses and everyone looks at the same situation via a different perspective. For now I’ll take another bite from that forbidden red apple and celebrate that my bicurious and naughty nature guided me, because if I had to learn from those straight-lined, prudish Disney characters, I’d never have embraced my biseksual side.
A preference can change. Everything is possible. Everything can change.